Sunday, February 1, 2009

Febuary 2nd

You have two purple dinosaurs, a toothbrush, and a deadline. Tell how you'd make a 12 page paper by deadline.

(Respond as seriously or as ridiculously as you choose)

43 comments:

  1. With lots and lots of love

    <3 Gracie

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  2. You start by turnning the toothbrush into a shank. Then you threaten the dinosaurs with the shank until they start journalizing and learning indesign. Inevitably they will get off task at which point you must shank one of them to death to show the other that you totally mean business. He will pee in his dinosaur pants and make a newspaper like his life depends on it, because it will.

    TK

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  3. Well I since I know that toothbrushes make sufficent writing tools, and purple dinosaurs are far more brilliant then green dinosaurs... we (the dinos and me) will ban together to write and photograph every story on said paper.

    What's really nice about this adventure is that purple dinosaurs reproduce at incredble rates so if there's nobody intresting to write about... we can write about all their little babies!! Except you'd never do that in a real paper, that's bias and that's not cool.

    WELCOME NEWBIES! :D

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  4. Well, I would use the toothbrush to keep my teeth clean throughout the pasteup that would be continuous to the deadline. My dinasaurs are the reporters, my staff and my writers, they will write commentarys on a 12 page story on how evolution is real. Dinosaurs are my proof.

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  5. Personally, I would create an alternate dimension where purple prehistoric beasts turned into paper and then i would defeat everyone with my toothbrush.
    First, I would create a time machine and travel back before this prompt was ever created so I wouldn't have to be so confused.

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  6. Since you didn't specify the deadline, mine is 2 years from today. First, I brush my own teeth. Then in a year and a half I train the dinosaurs to be seasoned outlook-esque writers. the toothbrush is wooden and has lead in the middle so once I know the dinosaurs are ready, I take one of their giant purple scales off and make them write the paper for me, turned in on February 2, 2011.

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  7. First of all, I would brush my teeth. Dental hygiene is important. Second, I would challenge the dinosaurs to a duel, in which I would club the crap out of them with the toothbrush. Then, I would use the sing karoke, using the toothbrush as an impromptu microphone. Then I would apnic and write a newspaper. That's more or less what we always do, anyways.

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  8. These two purple dinosuars have magic powers and their powers are to make newspaper paper appear out of the fire that they breathe. But in order to breathe the Outlook, they need to brush each other's teeth upsidedown for exactly three minutes. Any longer, or shorter, than three minutes and the paper has errors. Exactly three minutes and the paper wins at Nationals.

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  9. I get barney the fun loving dinosaur to do my work for me. I love Barney!!!! Daz good!!!

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  10. 1. Is Sarah a bunny?
    2. When is the deadline?

    Well, we'd put the dinosaurs outside.
    Wash our linguisticism souls clean with the toothbrush dipped in Reno Sorenson.
    Then realize that it is Wednesday and we have 2 days til exportation and have a dance party.

    Way to not be specific - ha.

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  11. What if the dinosaurs do the nasty and make colonies of dinosaur babies? mm

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  12. Well, I would make the dinosaurs brush their teeth because nobody would like dinosaur breath. Then I would train them to be my staffies and they would create an amazing newspaper with what little resources they had.

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  13. Oh, and I would eat the dinosaurs, because they are supposedly low-fat and high in protein.

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  14. I want to read a new staff members comment!!
    WHY DON'T YOU LITTLEINS REPLY?

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  15. IAN YOU KNOW NOTHING.
    Their puple hue makes them LOW in protein and HIGH in fatty acids. Duh.

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  16. Well I'd first bursh my teeth. It seems like an important thing to do. Then write a very boring news article about said importance and all the dangers of not brushing your teeth. There. Page two is done.

    Now then, Dinosaurs. Sounds like a front page deal to me. But quite honestly if i came across two purple dinosaurs journalism would not be the first thing on my mind.

    I'd probably just ride off into the sunset and never return. People wont even notice the paper never came out, because they'll be dead. Pongo stepped on PHS on his way out.

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  17. (To answer your question with a question: Why aren't there any bunnies?)

    Step one, brush the dinosaurs' teeth.
    Step two, wait between 245 and 207 million years.
    Step three, take the resulting fossil fuels from the dinosaurs and sell them to various Saudi nations.
    Step four, use said money to purchase Nicole Pinto from her family (You'd better hope they were big dinosaurs, Nicole is worth quite a few megatons of oil.)
    Step five, if you have any money left, buy a big cage, Adobe products and a school.
    Step six, poke Nicole with your toothbrush until she is done with the paper.
    Step seven, sell Nicole to the Saudi nations. She's hot.

    ... that's how you make a paper.

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  18. I would introduce the dinosaurs to a paleontologist who would be amazed at the purpleness of them. He would require that all the dinosaur books be re-written to explain how purple plants turned green and how for suffiecent comoflauge the dinosuars turned purple. i would then learn to talk to the dinosuars and they would tell me things that prove that scientist wrong so i could write all about it and really make him mad.

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  19. First of all, I would need some toothpaste because everybody knows that dinosaurs have horrible personal hygiene. Then, after a vigorous lesson on brushing (made difficult by a lack of thumbs) I would write a commentary because dinosaurs do not speak for several pages. The last seven pages would be a freaking photo essay and no one would mess with me or Salidathor because he is a total BAMF and knows how to chew a toothbrush into a shank.

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  20. If, by some stroke of fortune I were lucky enough to have two purple Dinosaurs, I would name them Bellatrix and Andromeda. Once their names had been established, I would tell them to follow my lead.

    Accompanied by Bella and Andromeda, I’d terrorize Luxembourg into giving me 100 of their best writers, artists, and photographers. Once I had obtained them, I would make them work; only giving them breaks when they had finished their particular tasks.

    Afterwards, when everything had been completed by deadline, they’d share the community toothbrush in a victorious yet dirty attempt to cleanse the sweat from their bodies.

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  21. Like Micaela said, these purple dinosaurs have magical powers so what I wouuld do is throw the toothbrushes away because no outlooker respects personal hygiene and then these dinosaurs would produce the paper needed and the tools to make twelve pages of sexy, artsy farsty madness, euphoric beauty.

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  22. They wont reply because they all have to sign up.

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  23. I think I would sell one of the dinosaurs for 40 Saharan slaves as the first step. After four years of me standing in front of the class with a ruler, the slaves would know perfect English, press law and the ethics of journalism. The other dinosaur would teach them InDesign, because -- as we all know -- dinosaurs and page editors have a very similar set of base skills which include primarily tearing into flesh, stomping a lot, being generally angry and unhelpful much of the time, splitting infinitives with precision, and making stupid little boxes on InDesign. After our first production cycle we would celebrate with some serious dino-barbecue, Flintstones style. The tooth brush would be totally useless without toothpaste. Duh.

    Then, for lack of dinosaur meat, we would have to resort to cannibalism until the last slave had fed upon the other last slave; whereupon she would be forced to feed on herself. I have a bet going that she will finish her entire left leg, to the pelvic bone, before bleeding to death.

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. Okay, I changed my mind.
    I believe that the two purple dinos are simply a metaphor for our own sense of accomplishment.
    The deadline represents approaching obstacles and the toothbrush equals cleanliness.

    Sometimes, we need to be clean and well-kept in order to succeed.

    I think Nicole Pinto was suggesting that we all smell at paste-up and need to take waaaayyy more showers.

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  26. Well, a lot like what Nick said, dinosaurs in the fourth dimention make excellent journalists. And, the power of clean teeth on deadline is underestimated. Assuming I'm editor in chief, the dinasaurs are writin' articles and sending em' out through braiinnnnwavvvess. Plus, there is no such thing as deadlines in the fourth dimension. There is only clean teeth and scaly extinct journalists.

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  27. DON'T SELL NICOLE. Listen here, this is how you do it...
    You sell Sarah than you sell Kev and then you sell Chris Putnam & every other staff member so Nicole and I can be together FOREVER.

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  28. What do i do now? someone come and save me?

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  29. I misspelled a word.
    I meant to say:
    Eat the toothbrush and tell the dinosaurs that if they don't start working, they'll be next :)

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  30. I would feed the dinosaurs smelly onions and garlic to give them bad breath. Then I would hold them hostage and make them write my paper for me, otherwise they don't get the toothbrush. ( :

    -Ana

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  31. Nicole Pinto is actually Kev D'Olivo. Nicole likes to take my ideas and claim they are her own.

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  32. i would sell on of the dinosuars to a wildlife preservation society for a billion dollars. assuming producing a 12 page front and back color issue runs about $1400, i would still have $999,998,600, a purple dinosaur and a toothbrush. i would then hire the Peninsula Outlook staff to assist me as i set the other purple dinosaur loose. that covers news. sports could cover the dinosaur as well as local dog cathcers up their ante. Closer Look would focus on the various aspects of the toothbrush: hygiene, both personal and household, and other uses, such as in prison. A&E could review the movie made about the dinosaur's rampage through gig harbor, and if it is possible to make dinosaur bacon. features would be nothing but obituaries. Nicole could rip the dinosaur a new one and connect leadership to the deaths of people in the editorial, and the Pro/con could debate the question of: Is experimental cloning on a previously thought extinct species immoral? i would use the rest of the money to buy vast amounts of diet coke and host a U2 concert at PHS, which could also be put in the issue. i would get all this done by deadline by investing any money i had left in a flux capacitor and a DeLorean with the liscence plate: DeMebus. i would travel back and forth through time to get everything done.

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  33. would first delegate tasks to the dinosaurs. one would be news editor and the other copy editor. The news editor dinosaur would of course be incredibly ambitious and would sharpen the toothbrush until it was a weapon. He would then use the weapon to stab the copy editor,creating a newsworthy event. (because really who needs a copy editor right? Grammar and punctuation aren't relevant in the 21st century anyway.) Next he would conduct interviews and perform necessary reasearch until he could write a 12 page in-depth feature. Of course his paper was full of passive voice, split infinitives, comma splices, usage errors, fragments, misplaced modifiers, cold commas, cold periods, misspelled names, and a general lack of punctuation hierarchy

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  34. Maybe the dinosaurs can eat big trees and poop 2000 beautiful copies of the outlook.

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  35. We do a entire in-depth story on how two fossilized dinosaurs were discovered beneath the peninsula smocker trails. We then start a B.A. archeology program, and students are able to dig a up purple raptor, and a terydactyl. However, this caused an uprising from the smokers. And so the Outlook performed one of our cult cerimonies and revived the anchient beasts. The Purple dinos then went on to strike justice in the land by pelting them with water balloons every time the "lit up"
    my favorite part was when nicole jumped on the raptors back and chased down the cheer leaders.

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  36. Well, if that was all I had I suppose I would make the dinasaurs brush their teeth and write about that? Haha I'm new I don't know what I'm doing!

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  37. HI:)
    im new......soooo.....

    First i brush my teeth with the toothbrush, as the minty smell from the tooth paste always gets my creative juices flowing.
    Next, me and the dinos (named dino#1 and dino#2) go find someone expierenced to tell me what to do next

    maybe my bff nick...?

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  38. hygiene is VERY important :)

    soooooo girl, first i would take my tootbrush and brush those teeth of mine.

    then I WOULD BECOME FRIENDS WITH THE PURPLE dinos, unless they were crazy and trying to eat me).

    and lastly, for the deadline... i would paint a beautiful portrait of the dinos with my tootbrush and the mud available.

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  39. I would make love to one of the dinosaurs so my children would have sports-loving genes.

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